This Machine Kills Teenage Boredom: Where Is It Now?

Ibanez Deluxe 59'er "Lawsuit" Les Paul Copy
Featuring a low price of entry and above average playability, this guitar was the ideal weapon in the war on teenage boredom. Some two decades before these gits were considered "collectable," this example came into my life wearing Grover tuning pegs, a brass nut, and a Dimarzio X2N pickup in the bridge and a Super II in the neck. In other words, massive ass kicking capability without the financial risk associated with domestic instruments. Artistic expression frustration soon revealed it possessed the almost supernatural ability to remain in near perfect tune, even after repeated aerial maneuvers and the associated hard landings. I had Lemmy sign it in gold paint marker in '85, but that had started to fade by the time it disappeared. It may or may not of had an "ULTRA 94" sticker between the pickups.

Unfortunately, it was "lost" in Minneapolis at 7th Street Entry in 1987. On tour with the Circle Jerks, the 59'er never made it back into the Necros van that night. Although the idea of this axe being haphazardly strummed by some 15-year old in a musty basement somewhere trying to play along with the Heartbreakers' L.A.M.F. LP is appealing, I'd rather have it back. In the slim chance this missive finds it's way to someone who knows of its whereabouts, do tell. The story alone will be worth the wait.

PS: They are called "lawsuit" models because Gibson sued-and won-to force Ibanez to quit using the "mustache" or "open book" headstock shape.
When lost, this Ibanez was in a generic case.
Circle Jerks, Necros, First Avenue, 7th Street Entry, Negative Approach, Punk, Touch and Go, Gibson, Fender, stolen guitar

Bosco Got A Roscoe

Twenty-one year old random doodle from the pen of elusive Booger Clown/Lobster Boy Comix Head Cheese Felix Wilson Jr., recently unearthed during the latest attempt to organize the massive PDGB archives. Sharp-eyed devotees of the punk music will undoubtedly recognize the illustrator as the same guilt-ridden neurotic that gave the world, among other things, the gut-busting antics of "Bazooka Morris and His Gang" comic strip, the cover art for Toledo based rock band, Gone In Sixty Seconds, and most notably, the notorious 1983 LP cover from the band that boldly declared "You Suck!," a sentiment held so closely by the politically correct-adverse rock combo they found the need to reiterate it in 1994, and again in 2008.

For approximately three years, Bosco navigated the transient population and innate debauchery of Toledo's mighty Perth Manor with ease, always eager to share his portly and stylish fuzziness with anyone who offered a pant leg to rub up against. Over the years, Bosco* shared a mattress with numerous traveling luminaries and musicians including The Rollins Band, The Misfits/Samhain, and Das Damen. And he could eat like a freak.

*AKA Bosco Buddy, The Luxurious Bosconian, Samwich-Havin' Bosco, and about six-dozen other random nicknames. Just the very mention of the name "Bosco," can send former Perth House resident Michael Montgomery into an involuntary semi-catatonic state, tales of Bosco's adventures spilling forth with the gravitas of sacred words from a peyote-ingesting tribal elder.