Toledo Area Dog "Totally Bummed" About Canceled Van Halen Dates

"It's a bogue sitch," says 'Harry' Harrison, a Golden Retriever from Toledo, Ohio. "Van Halen concerts are one of the few places left where a guy can get his bandanna on without drawing criticism from the  fashion Nazis.  Their music just screams, 'Hey you, it's David Lee and the boys from Van Halen; why don't you put on a bandanna?'

I mean Back in the day, dogs wearing bandannas were the shit! You couldn't swing the partially regurgitated entrails of a small rodent without hitting one of us.

I remember this one time,  ol' toke! and I wore a pair of matching bandannas that were decorated with a bunch of fake paint drips and splotches...man, shit got off the hook that night, let me tell you that much right now; my kicker spot ain't been the same since. Then there was the time at this sweet BBQ just flush with the bitches, where I was wearing a red one around my neck while carrying a frisbee in my mouth and...continued