Pizza Don't Go Bad

Does This Sash Make Me Look Fat?

2012-01-16T20:27:00.002-05:00

Random photo snapped at the 2013 North
American International Auto Show(NAIAS)in
Detroit Last Week.

So wait, when did Bibendum get so svelte? This photo is evidence that the following conversion actually took place in an office somewhere:

"Uh, yeah. I've been meaning to bring this up. You know Bibendum? Our century-old, illustrated pneumatic cartoon mascot-The one that's supposed to represent big round inner-tubes? I think he's too fat-it's just not in tune with the message that we want to send. I mean who wants to be represented by a fat person?"

Well Mr. corporate executive, I can think of numerous successful entities currently subscribing to the "girth gives birth to mirth" ethic. Here's one you might've heard of, right off the top of my head: Christmas. Not to mention Bob's Big Boy, FAT Wreck Chords and maybe last but never least, Fat Tony's out on the Vineyard.

The old adage remains true: "Never trust a skinny butcher, barber or tire salesman." The lone exception of course, if said butcher, barber or tire salesman's name is always prefaced with the word "skinny." As in, "c'mon kids, we're all going over to skinny Dave's for haircuts. Then I'm gonna' get a new set of Michelins from skinny Bob at the tire store." Bonus points if the individual is in fact, obese. But I digress.

I expect this kind of shortsighted nonsense from American companies as they flail desperately at ideas while they fight their way to the bottom. But from the French -the world's premier practitioners of the butter and cigarettes lifestyle- this type of deranged lunacy is inexcusable.

I'll take my Bibendum classic style, thank you:

UPDATE! 12.29.73 John McLaughlin and the Mahavishnu Orchestra, Toledo Sports Arena

2011-12-29T00:01:00.041-05:00

Note to bands who wish to keep performing with their original lineup: Stay the hell out of private aircraft and Toledo.

John McLaughlin and the Mahavishnu Orchestra's December, 29th gig at the Toledo Sports Arena was the fusion groups last performance with the original line up. For some reason, Elliott Sears -- the bands road manager and FOH engineer -- has repeatedly refereed to this historic Toledo date taking place on the 30th of December, not the 29th as advertised.
Does anyone know if the gig was rescheduled?

This just in (01/11/12), direct from the aforementioned Elliot Sears, Mahavishnu Orchestra road manager and sound engineer:

December 29, 1973 at the Toledo Sports Arena was the Mahavishnu Orchestra's second to last concert. The following night, December 30, 1973 was the bands last performance which was held at the Masonic Auditorium in Detroit

The following link is a list of the original Mahavishnu Orchestra's concerts taken from my itineraries and verified other sources. Although far from complete it is for the most part accurate. There are 2 listing that came from outside sources but I question their validity especially April 9, 1972 at Philharmonic Hall in New York.

The MO gig list can be found at the link below.

http://label.abstractlogix.com/?page_id=79

12.16.79 KISS, Toledo Sports Arena: Kitty-Kats Last Stand

2011-12-16T01:01:00.002-05:00

Peter Criss' last concert with the kabuki-faced rockers until the 1996 reunion tour, captured on the video above during the groups 1979 Dynasty tour. One viewing and it's clear the entire band is suffering from a case of road-borne malaise. Peter's "official departure date was May, 18th, 1980.

As Toledo's preeminent temple of arena rock worship for decades, the Sports Arena had seen it all by the time it was demolished in 2007. If the walls could talk, they'd probably say things like: "Hey burnout, quit urinating on me," and "Styx again?" or most likely, "It's a free clinic, your parents will never even know."

Let's take a look at some of the video's highlights:
0:11 Rent a Cop: "Sure the security gig doesn't pay much, but I'm making buku cash selling oregano to these suburban dopes."
0:36 Tallow-necked and mustachioed security guard performing the East-Side Heimlich on a 12-year old in the name of crowd control.
0:42 Maumee High School Panther Band Jacket-REPRESENT!
0:44 Ace and Paul's lethargic windmilling ala Townshend; they know they're onstage, right?
0:52 "Cool" older kids filtering just before showtime: "Kiss suck, but it'll be a party."

Amazing photograph from the same concert by Toledo's own John Rockwood. tumbler

Found Toledo #1: Toledo Steel Products

2011-11-09T12:15:00.003-05:00

Toledo Steel Products Neon Clock.
"Makers of Fine Automotive and Aircraft Parts."
Spotted while cruising the vendor aisles at the Fall Carlisle Swap Meet.
Asking price $650.00

From the comments:

Fill me in on the fencing dude? Was that some sort of logo for the city or for Toledo Steel Products? Was fencing big in Toledo? -- Dave Martin

Toke! said...
@ Dave Martin: Yes Dave, before skateboarding and punk rock, the streets of Toledo were littered with roaming bands of disenfranchised youth, often engaging in impromptu fencing duels to settle turf disputes. The penalties for appearing in public without a mesh face-guard were swift and severe. But once Barry mail-ordered that Germs record, the fencing scene just died.

Actually, it was just a continuation on a theme started centuries ago in out sister city, Toledo, Spain.

From Wikipedia: Toledo steel, known historically as unusually hard, is from Toledo, Spain, which has been a traditional sword-making, steel-working center since about 500 BC, and came to the attention of Rome when used by Hannibal in the Punic Wars. Soon, it became a standard source of weaponry for Roman Legions. Toledo steel was famed for its very high quality alloy, whereas Damascene steel, a competitor from the Middle Ages on, was famed for a specific metal-working technique.

11.2.74 Lou Reed / Hall and Oates, University of Toledo Fieldhouse

2011-11-02T00:10:00.007-04:00

Toledo Can't Dance

Lou Reed brought N.Y.C cool to the University of Toledo Fieldhouse on this November day in support of his most recent album, Sally Can't Dance. Blue-Eyed ~~Pennsylvania Dutch~~ Philly Soulsters Hall & Oates tagged along in the warm-up slot.

Of his fourth and most successful L.P. to date, Reed remarked:

"It seems like the less I'm involved with a record, the bigger a hit it becomes. If I weren't on the record at all next time around, it might go to Number One."

Although Hall and Oates had not yet struck gold singing about rich bitches, smiling Sara and private eyes, their third and current LP, Abandoned Luncheonette, did contain the literal composition, "She's Gone," which would go on to chart at #7 in 1976, only after being re-released by Atlantic on the strength of successful cover versions released by both Lou Rawls and Tavares.

Fine print running along the bottom of the poster rather desperately proclaims: "This will be a very exciting show...and at a bargain price!"

UPDATE:
First hand account of the gig from Boogie Records/Culture Clash proprietor and wise elder statesman of all things Toledo-rock, Pat O'Connor:

Plantland was a great concert promotion company headed by Ron ? a TU (sic) law student. He put a nice array of progressive shows, well for Toledo and the times.

I did see this show which I remember could have easily fit in the Student Union room. Not a lot of people but avid rabid fans. It was rather a schmultz feat as Lou was i his "super asshole I love when you hate me" phase. Gone were those hot as lightning Dick Wagner riffs from R n R Animal. In in with blonde hair product.

Glad I saw it. I didn't realize we'd all respect him, not only for his past endeavors, but also as a lobe artist, at the time. I can only hope we look back and say, "Man the album he did with Metallica was sooo great"

Respect your elders: Get into the Culture Clash and BUY SOMETHING!

4020 Secor Road
Toledo, Ohio 43623
(419) 536-5683

10.31.71 Pink Floyd, University Of Toledo Fieldhouse

2011-10-31T11:10:00.000-04:00

Kicking around on a piece of ground
in my hometown.

Here.

Has The Cream Set Out Too Long?

2011-10-26T12:12:00.004-04:00

Click image for larger view

We're Strong for Toledo.

2011-09-15T10:31:00.001-04:00

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Check It: JUPMODE

Nice work people:
The Miracle Vitamins: http://www.themiraclevitamins.com
The ‘Leles: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Leles/128746847185246
Steven Mullan: StevenMullan.com
Mighthaveben the Band: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mighthaveben-the-band/191104720917730?ref=ts
Bozarts Art and Music Gallery: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bozarts-llc/111207106675
Audio by Little Elephant Recording: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Little-Elephant-Recording/115528228470642
Video by 3BYONE Media: http://www.3byone.com

"It's got a cop motor, a 440-cubic-inch plant. It's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas."

2011-09-08T11:05:00.000-04:00

I'll talk ta' Bob.

Hello Dave.

2011-08-02T12:27:00.003-04:00

This is Dave.

He played football with Mayor Bell at The University of Toledo back in the day. Now he makes BBQ. Really, really good BBQ. This is Brisket. So tender you don't need teeth.

Check out his self-contained mobile BBQ-rig; it's even got on-board hot water and a Coke cooler. Here's the back side, complete with separate wash sinks to keep those pesky health inspectors happy:

Here's some of his trophies and sauce. That's one of his many auxiliary BBQ's in the background:

Here's a front view of the whole operation, including the chicken grills on the right. Note the guys just hanging out batting the fat. Experts will tell that's how you find a good BBQ place; look for a bunch of old guys -non employees, preferably fat- just hanging around, doing nothing. Everyone needs heroes.

I would have gladly paid twice the price:

It was hot and humid the day I visited, 95 in the shade easy. But that only added to the experience.You can find Dave on St. Route 703 (AKA Celina Road) in St. Marys Ohio.
Here's the link to Google maps, if you can't find it on your own with this, you just don't like good BBQ.

Tell him HAL sent ya'.

Three Nights, Six Bands, Seven Bucks.

2011-07-11T00:01:00.007-04:00

I Got Your Toledo Rock Party Weekend Right Here:

Friday: The Bob Seger System & Electric Sideshow.
Saturday: MC5 & Orphic
Sunday: The Rationals and Orphic

State Theater, 2476 Collingwood Blvd. Toledo, Ohio

Pass the word.

NIPTDWTT (Nothing In Particular To Do With Toledo Thursday) Post - Danzig Mashup to End all Danzig Mashups

2011-07-07T09:37:00.001-04:00

Although select Toledoeans may find it of particular interest.
Seriously, this it like my new favorite song of the summer so far.

Happy 4th of July, Bitches!

2011-07-04T15:25:00.000-04:00

click on image for full-size display

For your information, it's real. And it's spectacular.

World's Greatest Literary Achievement?

2011-06-08T10:35:00.000-04:00

Silent Flaccidity

2011-06-01T12:39:00.009-04:00

A pair of Franco-Italian relics from Citroen's hydro-pneumatic empire sit quietly awaiting their fate.

Citroen bought Maserati in 1968, hanging on to their Gallic independence until filing for bankruptcy in 1974.

Optimistic 1960's space-age elegance still apparent despite years of neglect.

I've been lucky enough to witness fully operational Citroen SM's in the wild, first in in N.Y.C. and then S.F., where the quirky and sophisticated SM seemed somewhat at home. Stumbling across these derelict examples here in Toledo, I experienced the the same feelings of confused elation I imagine UFO-conspiracy kooks feel when they happen upon the remote scrap-pile of a residential bathroom remodel gone bad they're just sure is a UFO crash site.

The hydro-pneumatic suspension system that permits the SM to navigate crater-strewn streets and highways with such aplomb and neutrality also provides for the vehicle's variable ride-height capabilities, the bodywork often settling merely inches off the ground while at rest.

A total of 12,920 SM's were produced from 1970-'75, including 2,400 exported to North America in 1972-'73.

Where: Dorr St. near Holland Sylvania.
Best Case Scenario: These are simply parts cars, and a fully-functional Citroen SM is at this very moment plying the streets of Toledo, swallowing Fiat 500-sized potholes with indifference and wowing kiddies and jaded bystanders alike with impromptu curbside displays of automotive-suspension calisthenics.

Worst Case Scenario: After completing an arduous restoration of concours quality, the formerly carefree enthusiast becomes a demanding pecksniff and begins to unravel with the sad realization that his meticulous grande routière will never experience the intoxicating effervescence of genuine French air and hydraulic fluid simultaneously escaping from numerous locations along the vehicle's undercarriage while circling Avenue des Champs-Elysees during la vendage. Crushed by this glaring inadequacy, narcotics become the owners only form of relief, eventually abandoning the vehicles here during an opiate-fueled stupor.

Bosco Got A Roscoe

2011-05-24T12:11:00.003-04:00

Twenty-one year old random doodle from the pen of elusive Booger Clown/Lobster Boy Comix Head Cheese Felix Wilson Jr., recently unearthed during the latest attempt to organize the massive PDGB archives. Sharp-eyed devotees of the punk music will undoubtedly recognize the illustrator as the same guilt-ridden neurotic that gave the world, among other things, the gut-busting antics of "Bazooka Morris and His Gang" comic strip, the cover art for Toledo based rock band, Gone In Sixty Seconds, and most notably, the notorious 1983 LP cover from the band that boldly declared "You Suck!," a sentiment held so closely by the politically correct-adverse rock combo they found the need to reiterate it in 1994, and again in 2008.

For approximately three years, Bosco navigated the transient population and innate debauchery of Toledo's mighty Perth Manor with ease, always eager to share his portly and stylish fuzziness with anyone who offered a pant leg to rub up against. Over the years, Bosco* shared a mattress with numerous traveling luminaries and musicians including The Rollins Band, The Misfits/Samhain, and Das Damen. And he could eat like a freak.

*AKA Bosco Buddy, The Luxurious Bosconian, Samwich-Havin' Bosco, and about six-dozen other random nicknames. Just the very mention of the name "Bosco," can send former Perth House resident Michael Montgomery into an involuntary semi-catatonic state, tales of Bosco's adventures spilling forth with the gravitas of sacred words from a peyote-ingesting tribal elder.

Collect call for Mr. Paul Allen of Seattle:

2011-05-19T10:55:00.006-04:00

You and your wallet are needed in Pittsburgh, STAT!

Paul Mawhinney was born and raised in Pittsburgh, PA. Over the years he has amassed what has become the world's largest record collection. Due to health issues and a struggling record industry Paul is being forced to sell his collection.

This is the story of a man and his records. I hope you enjoy it.

But wait! How do we know he's not just some huckster trying to make a fast buck on a bunch of vinyl he pulled from the dumpsters behind the local Goodwill?

Shirt-straining gut?--------------------check
Gender neutral eyewear?--------------check
Mewlery (PDGB for old guy bling)?---check
Facial Hair?----------------------------check

It's cool-he's legit. He's one of us.
Never can be too sure with this type of thing.

Seriously, this is the most touching thing I've seen in quite awhile. But then I'm like that. Any readers know the current status of Paul and his vinyl?

Microsoft co-founder and billionaire Paul Allen is a well-known fan of music and pop culture, philanthropist, creator of the Experience Music Project, owner of the Seattle Seahawks, Portland Trailblazers and a really, really, big boat. He's probably one of a handful of people with the cash to buy the collection and a place to put it.

NIPTDWTT (Nothing In Particular To Do With Toledo Thursday) Post - Blues Maker (1969)

2011-05-19T00:01:00.003-04:00

Although many Toledoeans may find it of particular interest.
Amazing documentary featuring Mississippi Fred Mc Dowell, singing and talking about his blues. Produced by the University of Mississippi.

(Double Click for full screen)

Bong Bong * Bong*: You Put Jelly Beans In 'Em.

2011-05-16T20:22:00.007-04:00

"Mom always made the best hash brownies, until her old Waring mixer finally died. But now we can skip the trip to the kitchen and spark up her brownie mix anywhere with the new Bong Blender from Oster!"
You can bet Kim "Tootie" Fields has one.

NIPTDWTT* (Nuthin' In Particular To Do With Toledo Thursday) Post

2011-05-12T13:59:00.077-04:00

Although particular Toledoeans my find it of interest.
Bad Brains Live, West Palm Beach 3.20.87

1987 was a strange time for hardcore. Scene stalwarts Black Flag and Minor Threat had disbanded due to a confluence of factors, and the DKs had become a professional punk attraction for tourists. Redd Kross -god bless 'em- had long dropped all hardcore-pretension and were busy rocking out in all the stringy-haired glory we knew they could, while the CBGB's scene in NY evolved into this metal/thrash/skin scene that appeared have more inclusive rules than prison.

Major Labels came calling, and within a few years on either side of the video above, many once raucous, respected, and groundbreaking bands such as Husker Du, Sonic Youth, Meat Puppets, Butthole Surfers and the Bad Brains all politely took their seats at the corporate dinner table. I know, I know; but at the time it seemed like a big deal.

The genius of the Bad Brains is/was they never set out specifically to be a "hardcore" band, they simply happened to be a group of intensely talented individuals who fully understood and harnessed the passion, speed and power of hardcore on their own terms, merging it with their existing artistic and occasionally un-PC agenda. As such, the typical regimented artistic boundaries of the hardcore scene seemingly didn't apply, or at very least the rulebook was open for broad interpretation: Witness here, a non-ironically Cosby-sweatered Dr. Know dispensing chorus-pedal tainted Rasta-Var-Halian licks far more akin to the Sunset Strip axe-shredding sensibilities of the day than the HC pentatonic template hammered out on the stages of the Masque, 9:30 and Freezer Theater. But in their hands, it works.

The Spring Break crowd appears polite enough, but with the exception of a few enlightened individuals, it's clear the Bad Brains energy is lost on the Beach Blanket Bongo audience.

Although pieces of this video have been floating around for years, this is the first time I've ever seen it available in it's entirety.

BUT WAIT!
While we're getting all misty-eyed over post '85 Hardcore, check out Dave Markey's amazing doc of life on the road with Black Flag. The first true hardcore Cali band to put out a record and tour east, BF essentially wrote the HC guidebook in the process. Despite theses accomplishments, BF remained so unsatiated they took said book, scribbled in-between the lines, doodled in the margins, and tore off both covers plotting their future. Right fucking on.
GO HERE IF EMBED IS NOT YET LIVE
BUMMER! It appears they've pulled the plug on this vid due to copyright restrictions.

"Reality 86'd" A film by David Markey (c) 1991 We Got Power Films. (TRT 01:01:51) A road documentary shot from the inside of the last Black Flag tour ever (the 1986 "In My Head" US tour.) Greg Ginn along with Henry Rollins, Cel Revulta, and Anthony Martinez comprise the final line up of the band. Featuring behind the scenes proceedings and live performances from Black Flag, Painted Willie, and Gone (Ginn's side project, then featuring Sim Cain and Andrew Weiss (later of the Rollins Band) . Filmmaker / musician David Markey was along for the entire trip as the drummer / singer for Painted Willie (with Phil Newman & Vic Makauskas), documenting the six month tour as it happened. Also features roadie Joe ("Planet Joe") Cole, soundmen Davo Claasen and Dave "Ratman" Levine, and the tour manager who kept it all together, Mitch Bury. A crucial turning point in American underground rock. The end of the line for a trail blazing American band.

"No Springs, Honest Weight" Toledo Scale

2011-05-04T21:57:00.015-04:00

Sparrow Market. Ann Arbor, MI

"We are not obligated to sell one more scale, but we are morally bound to service the scales we have already sold."

Henry Theobold

Founder, Toledo Scale

It's always satisfying to see one of these older Toledo-born & bred babies out in the wild still providing reliable service with their trademark accuracy. I'm 99% sure the scale pictured above is a model 2110, which has been in production for over half a century with only minor mechanical, cosmetic and nomenclature revisions. The globe is positively littered with vintage examples still in daily use, their presence serving not only as gentle reminders of the industrial might Toledo once wielded, but also as artifacts from an era when machinery was designed with serviceability and longevity in mind. Mr. Theobolds mission statement (above) represents a concept that seems to have escaped the "stack 'em deep and sell 'em cheap" importers peddling much of the disposable ~~junk~~ equipment available today. And when I was a boy, this here internet was all farmland.

Through a series of innovations including the patented and slogan-inspiring spring-free dual pendulum movement, Toledo Scale revolutionized the industry in the early 1900's and absolutely dominated the retail point-of-sale and industrial scale
business for the rest of the 20th century.

Although the corporate H.Q. moved 120 miles south to Columbus in the mid-1970s, a small amount of manufacturing muscle stayed put at their Albert Khan-designed Telegraph Road Facility in Toledo until 1984. Hopes of production of any capacity resuming at the location were crushed on July 5th, 1985, when the building -which had previously survived a direct hit from the devastating Palm Sunday Tornado in 1965- was destroyed by fire. In 1989 T-Scale merged with Mettler, a highly regarded Swiss manufacturer of precision lab instruments, the pair emerging from the union as Mettler-Toledo.

But this story is not one entirely of bittersweet Toledo nostalgia. Unlike the majority of corporations that abandoned Toledo in the 70's, Mettler-Toledo still employs actual Americans, including many right here in the good old USofA! At last check, their worldwide payroll included over 11,000 employees, 3000 of which stateside, including 700 in central Ohio.

Here is John.

Digging a Ditch: Tim Kerr & Brian Mank, 9/83

2011-04-20T10:34:00.004-04:00

Click for Larger View

An otherwise bone-dry culvert overflowing with passion, soul and style. Necros tour, somewhere East(?) of Austin, Texas. 1983.

DORITOS LOCOS TACOS: Yes Toledo, This Is Really Happening

2011-04-14T13:59:00.010-04:00

Am I the only one in awe of the fact that a new Taco Bell menu item, a taco whose shell is comprised solely of a giant nacho-cheese Dorito is available ONLY in Toledo, Ohio*!? It's called “Doritos Locos Taco,” and frankly, I can't wait to barf one -or seven- up in the hopper next ~~Saturday~~, ~~Friday,~~ ~~Thursday~~, tonight at 4:00 AM. I can't think of a better food product to put a culinary cap on a night of drinking cheap beer and pricey tequila.
I've searched and searched for the (Columbus-dissing, no less!) TV commercial on the webernets to no avail...till then, it appears there is a movement pending (insert bathroom joke here) to take the delectable nationwide:
https://www.facebook.com/cheesyshells

Even better: At this point, "There is no indication that Taco Bell will make the Doritos Locos Tacos nationally available" according to widely revered authority on such matters, Foodbeast.

But really, can Toledo honestly be considered a test market? Where better to hawk nutritionally ambiguous gut-bombs encased in a radioactive-hued corn shell? Proud Toledoeans will stand in line all day and pay triple the going rate just for the privilege!

*I added "Ohio" in order to avoid confusion with Toledo, Spain, where tradition dictates all prepared meats and produce be served in a large nacho-cheese Dorito shell.

04.16.11 Record Store Day Toledo 2011: Forty Sad Portraits Of Closed Record Stores

2011-04-12T13:44:00.003-04:00

Sad, I've been in at least ten of these forty stores over the years. On the bright side, Steve Jobs can finally make the last lay-away payment on that sweet Kenmore washer/dryer combo his wife's been hinting at. I hear that little minx is quite the homemaker.

347 Yonge St. without the iconic "Sam the Record Man" neon signage?
How will tourists navigate Toronto?

It's not the commerce I miss so much, it's the hang.
Luckily, we've still got a few places worthy of your time and money right here in Toledo:
Culture Clash Records
Rama Lama Records
Shakin Street Records
And in Ann Arbor:
Wazoo Records

It just wouldn't be right to conclude this pity-party without shedding at least a few tears in honor of some personal favorite fallen temples of vinyl worship: Sounds, NYC; The original School Kids, Ann Arbor; Purple Phrogg, North Lima; Boogie, Toledo, Zed, Long Beach/O.C., and many, many, more.

Thanks to J.Yuenger for the heads up on this list.

Sunday Special: Roast Beef OR Fried Chicken Only 99¢!

2011-03-30T16:08:00.011-04:00

From the Toledo Blade, March 30, 1968

03.30.68 Jimi Hendrix Experience at The
TU (aka University of Toledo) Fieldhouse

Honestly, do you think anyone is gonna' come out to that stinky-old fieldhouse and lay down $1.50 to see some equally smelly hippie with a Fender guitar jumping around onstage, stroking his ego and making suggestive (really, is there any other kind?) sex-faces at the young ladies in attendance with all these tasty and nutritious dining options available for the same coin? Likewise, if Mr. Hendrix had a sensible bone in his body, he'd put down that mid-performance guitar tartare he's so fond of and instead sink his teeth into one of Harold's tantalizing specials ASAP.

A side note to Mr. Promoter:
Look, all of us in the biz know hyperbole is part and parcel with concert promotion. From the xeroxed flyers stapled to telephone poles by excited teenagers to Grand Funk's legendary, sixty-foot high, city block-long Time Square Billboard, the goal is to "get the message out!" at any cost. But I honestly believe you've gone overboard here; some of that lettering is nearly one-half an inch tall! We don't need your kind tarnishing the otherwise sterling reputations of rock promoters.

GPOYW

2011-03-30T14:51:00.002-04:00

Photo: Daniel Byrne

Here's a (rare)early A.M. shot of toke! and four-time AHMRA British European and American Racing Series National Champion Kenny Cummings preparing to unleash the sonic fury of his Vintage Norton Commando race bike on the still-slumbering citizens of the West Village.
Rise and shine people!

Necros T-shirts: Get 'Em While They're Tepid!

2011-03-27T23:35:00.005-04:00

6/14/11: HEY! They can be found HERE.

Necros
"So Uncool"

Maumee Gym (kinda) T-shirt

Straight from the source: The fellas printed these up last summer for the Why Be Something You're Not book release party/concert in Detroit, where three of the guys performed as Sorcen-Get it? S-O-R-C-E-N. Clever, no?
Scholars of Midwest Hardcore History will undoubtedly find these shirts as witty as they are stylish; Do you know which barely-released (original pressing of only 100 copies, but bootlegged ad nauseam) Necros song the quote is from?
Get 'em while you can, when these are gone, there won't be no more
Size M measures 17" pit to pit and 23" collar to bottom hem, they increase dimensionally from there.
Gildan 50/50 cotton blend T
Maumee provenance: Actually printed by Jimmy from next-generation Maumee rockers Henry and June, 1/2 half of which would later become the Soledad Brothers, the half with Jimmy becoming Boogaloosa Prayer, whose drummer happens to be original Necros drummer Todd Swalla. Patchwork threads of integrity woven here, no waiting
No stains, pit or otherwise, but we're happy to entertain any requests regardless of perversion

Get Yours Here: Maumee City Madhouse.

Why Did Glenn Frey Roll The Rationals Van?

2011-03-21T14:11:00.021-04:00

Was it:

Because the Detroit Native suffered a momentary, hallucinogenic-induced glimpse of a future world gone mad some forty-years hence, where, even after writing dozens of criminally-mellow top ten money-making hits for the Eagles and guest-starring on Miami Vice, his seemingly incoherent, booze-addled band-mate Joe Walsh would still be considered "the cool one," by non-dicks everywhere?
Because he was hurrying to meet Cher at a Bally Total Fitness Center to engage in a shiny, satin/spandex-clad and poofy-coiffed workout of such crass intent that even fellow wealth enthusiast and Eagles band-mate Don Henley would hang his head in shame?
Or was it simply a case of the heat, in fact, being on?

Like all good modern-day folklore, the story accompanying the above photograph evolved fast and furiously on the lips of those farthest from the facts, speculation and hearsay eventually evolving into climatic local legend, truth be damned:

"Frey rode along with The Rationals to the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago, and upon arrival immediately encountered the MC5, who were wasting no time leaving Chi-town and suggested The Rationals do the same, post-haste. And, due to the chaos, rioting, and confusion in the streets, the van went greasy-side up during a high-speed evasive maneuver required to guarantee the band and their gear safe passage from the streets of Chicago."

The Truth Comes Out:
Years later, Frey came clean while being interviewed about gigging at Traverse City, Michigan's 1960's teen hangout, The Tanz Haus:

“Yeah I remember the place,” laughed Frey. “One time I borrowed The Rationals van to get up there and I was flying through a small town (Manton) and lost control of the van on the curve and totaled the van and trashed the equipment I borrowed as well.”

Step away from our van, Mr. Frey.

Club employee Sue Sivek also remembers that night:

“It was May 13, 1967 and I noted in my diary that his band, The Mushrooms, were not very good, they were mediocre at best. But I also noted that the singer (Glenn) was good and had talent. You could tell he was better than the rest. Though most of us were shocked when he made it big.”

FUN FACT: Glenn sings backup and strums acoustic guitar on the awesome original version of Bob Seger's "Ramblin' Gamblin' Man."

Although The Rationals' legacy may not shine with the same intensity as their rust-belt rock'n'roll brethren, they stood shoulder to shoulder with the likes of the MC5, The Frost, and The Stooges while hammering their own R&B influenced sound out of the indigenous hard Michigan rock. So much so, John Sinclair named his book Guitar Army: Rock and Revolution with The MC5 and the White Panther Party after the Rationals song of the same name.

NIPTDWTT (Nuthin' In Particular To Do With Toledo Thursday) Post

2011-03-17T10:31:00.003-04:00

Although many Toledoeans may find it to be of particular interest.

Cry Baby: The Pedal That Rocks The World from Joey Tosi on Vimeo.

NTDWTT (Nuthin' To Do With Toledo Thursday) Post

2011-03-10T10:16:00.001-05:00

Social Media in the Workplace: A Cautionary Tale

"P.S. Stan Polley is a soulless bastard. I will take him with me."

2011-03-05T13:49:00.004-05:00

3.5.71 TU Field House
First date on Badfinger's second US tour.

02.11.75 Queen and Kansas at University of Toledo Student Union Auditorium

2011-02-11T12:13:00.059-05:00

PDGB can only imagine the backstage interaction between a hot-panted and purse-lipped Freddie Mercury and the burly, bearded -yet curiously progressive- heartland rockers of Kansas.

Mercury, seated before a personalized tea service whilst clutching his velvet-draped scepter: "Hmmmn, hmm, hello boys. Join me in a cup of tea?"

Kansas members, replying in satin tour-jacketed unison: "Helmet laws suck motherf#*%er!"

Faintly, from a Kansas roadie in the distance: "Peavey Ruuuuules!"

Within a year or so of this gig, I read a quote (a bold pull-quote, no less) in Creem Magazine from a member of Kansas regarding the artistic integrity of the then chart topping media darling, Bruce Springsteen: "That's not talent, it's just two chords going back and forth." Suddenly, the phrase "Comparisons are odius" made complete sense. I like to think that somewhere, the narrow chest of my seventh-grade English teacher* swelled ever-so slightly against the constraint of his cable knit sweater vest. If they can't see something in it's own light, so be it; I'm not going to try and change any minds. But that didn't mean I had to give a shit about any of them.

Later that week I picked up the Ramones first Album.

*Mr. Kratzman was my seventh-grade English teacher at Gateway Middle School In Maumee, Ohio. In addition to banging his head against the wall in response to our generally knuckled-headed juvenile existence, dropping the occasional Lydgate, Cervantes and (attention pecksniffs: feel free to argue the spelling/origin of odius here, I haven't the time or concern) Shakespeare reference, he could bang out show tunes night and day on the old Gateway upright piano, often accompanied by Mrs. Uhause(sp?) on vocals. He was truly the son my mother wished for. If only the Maumee curriculum specified for a yearly visit from TRCKAK(The Rock Combo Known As Kansas), we'd all be editing the Westminster Review by now.

Reunited and it Feels So Good, Reunited to Kick the Jams Born in the Maumee Hood...

2011-02-07T15:05:00.023-05:00

To celebrate all the freshly minted audio excitement, it's only fitting the guys reconvene not only to rescale the sonic summits of their formative years, but ultimately to try and eclipse them. As the sage in-between Maumee rocker (i.e., he's older than H & J, but younger than the Necros) and guitar wunderkind Kelley Cimney once profoundly inquired from high atop his post-party throne of beer-soaked Ramen noodles: "Are you high? Well I wanna' take you higher!" Cimney, who generally chose to voice this query in an aneurysm-inducing falsetto shriek that could shame Rob Halford into a taking work as a telaflora phone representative, clearly liked to get to the point and stay there.

Likewise, after Henry & June members Jimmy Danger, Dooley Wilson, Ben Swank and Johnny Walker stood up together for the last time, each moved on to various bigger and debatably better things without disowning their collective past: Danger and Wilson to Boogaloosa Prayer; Swank and Walker to the now-defunct Soledad Brothers. When the band took the stage for a one-off reunion gig in April 2010, someone had either the foresight or folly to hit the REC button and commit the performance to tape, the results of which were apparently impressive enough to warrant an official release. To provide the proper context for the 2010 live recordings, a selection of choice cuts culled from the classic "rehearsal tapes" familiar to close friends of the band make up the remainder of the two-disc set.

Henry and June, 1993

WHERE AND WHEN:

THURS. FEBRUARY 10TH-COVINGTON MASONIC BALLROOM COVINGTON, KY
FRI. FEBRUARY 11TH- MAGIC STICK DETROIT, MI

SAT. FEBRUARY 12TH- OTTAWA TAVERN TOLEDO, OH
FRI. FEBRUARY 18TH- BAYPORT BBQ BAYPORT, MN
SAT. FEBRUARY 19TH- CACTUS CLUB MILWAUKEE, WI

DANGER LIMITED

01.27.97 Legendary Detroit Televison Movie/Trivia Show Host Bill Kennedy Goes to the Big TV Studio in the Sky.

2011-01-27T13:50:00.012-05:00

Faking sick and staying home from school hasn't been the same since.
More
More Yet

01.12.74 New York Dolls, Toledo Sports Arena

2011-01-12T11:11:00.024-05:00

UPDATE 01/20/11:

Try as we might, PDGB can't find a single Toledoen who both attended this gig and retains enough unpolluted gray matter to produce an even remotely-lucid recollection. Lucky for us, we found this nearly decade-old interview with Sub Pop Records founder and Toledo Native Jon Poneman floating around on the interwebs:

"The New York Dolls played in the Sports Arena, not in the main arena, but in the little exhibition center right off to the side of it, and there weren't very many people there. It was really funny. I remember everybody sitting down and kind of like... I didn't get it. I was like a Creem magazine reader, and I remember buying the first [New York Dolls'] record and going "Wow!" I was into Todd Rundgren, and Todd produced that record. I was going, "What the fuck's up with this?" There's no (Poneman proceeds to imitate an insanely fast guitar solo). I didn't really get it. This is before The Ramones; it was even before [The Stooges'] Raw Power came out, as far as I can remember. And, so, that's the thing about my earliest experience with punk rock is I thought it sucked, because there weren't enough notes. I was much more [a fan] of like Skynyrd and Allman Brothers and even barfier than that."

You can find the entire interview here: Music and Quotes.

And if you were there, let us know. A little street cred is a good thing.

01.07.83 Misfits, Henry Ford Community College, Dearborn Michigan

2011-01-07T11:00:00.056-05:00

photo: Mark Wakabayashi

Doyle, romancing the .016's while sweating out his 20-piece McNugget and McRib sandwich pre-gig appetizer. Wait! Is he wearing Pajama Jeans?!

In the crowd: Foxy Greg Boker, John Gumpf, toke!, and, directly in front of the D-man's strumming hand, Anna, sister of Larissa Strickland(Stolarchuk) of L-Seven and Laughing Hyenas.

Second on the bill were one of toke!'s all time faves, Big Boys from Austin,Texas, with Toledo's own Radical Left in the opening slot. Featuring long-time Glass-City scenesters Joe Testa on nicotine-stained screams and cries of social injustice and all-around good guy Mark Podany bashing the skins, the short-lived and virtually forgotten Rad Left remained unapologetically themselves and did what they needed to do regardless of trends or criticism. And that is about as punk as you can get. Except for maybe a big honkin' semi fully-laden with reproduction punk ephemera destined for Hot Topic mall stores crashing headlong into a Broadway theater auditorium during a command performance of Green Day's American Idiot. That would really fuck society up.

If only Henry1 was around to see his namesake institution of higher learning finally actualize his dreams. But history indicates he was more into the D.K.'s anyhow.

Flyer source

RIP Captain Beefheart 12.17.2010

2010-12-18T12:15:00.004-05:00

5X7 Handbill from Beefheart's April 19th, 1974 appearance at the Toledo Sports Arena

Items # 5 & 8 of "Captain Beefheart's Ten Commandments of Guitar Playing," two sentiments that reside near toke!'s heart:

#5. If you're guilty of thinking, you're out
If your brain is part of the process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man, struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have something that is fur bearing.

#8. Don't wipe the sweat off your instrument
You need that stink on there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music.

An interview with Beefheart conducted at Toledo Sports Arena on the very date of the handbill pictured above can be read here: Don Van Vliet

Below:
Dick Clark: "And that's the story of the vanilla wafer. Hey, got a minute? I've got a great idea for this hilarious blooper and practical joke show..."

11.09.76 ZZ Top & Montrose, Toledo Sports Arena

2010-11-09T10:10:00.022-05:00

Click on image for large view

"It's not a picture about truckers, but about the people in this incredible new world of CB," said Fields, a superagent. Well duh.

Red Hot Chili Peppers Flea & Anthony "Blazin' a Trail of Red-hot Funkiness" in 1984

2010-10-01T11:55:00.001-04:00

Fresh-faced and fully dressed, Flea and Anthony drop a little funky-freestyle in the early stages of their quest to "spread the cosmic love vibe across the world-and universe," no less. Note Anthony's spiffy US131 Dragway attire, a motorsports facility located just south of his boyhood home in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Not content to play second bass-fiddle to the dapper-rapper front man, Flea makes a statement of his own in an always fashionable "CD Presents" white-T, a not-so-subtle shout-out to the California-based multimedia entity that will be forever linked to the subculture of the late 1970's and '80's. CD Presents was the brainchild of "international outsider-culture impresario" David Ferguson, who would later found the San Francisco-based non-profit, The Institute for Unpopular Culture.

Video shot in the Hall of the Marriott Marquis Times Square during the 1984 New Music Seminar.

-toke!

I ♥ New York, But I Fuckin' Love Detroit!

2010-08-29T11:57:00.005-04:00

Premiering ~~8/30/10~~ 9/8/10 on Palladiumboots.com
Check it:

There's a million ways this could suck. Let's hope it doesn't.

4.29.69 MC5 at the FireHouse, Toledo, Ohio

2010-04-26T10:56:00.007-04:00

By all accounts, Jams were kicked out. Allegations regarding the abuse and mistreatment of jellies, chutneys, and dairy-based spreads continue to trickle in.

Free-Range Art of the Toledo Region #2

2010-04-25T10:02:00.023-04:00

Rise Above
Click on images for a larger view

Mission statement successful. Artistic consistency and vision, not so much. New York it ain't.

opposing view:
Annihilate This Week

I've long marveled at just how succinctly suburban burnouts managed to condense the collective works of the Beat Generation and the cultural revolution of the 1960's into two catchy little words: "Do Bongs."
And who is this "Rich Wash**(type faded)**?" Does he in fact, "Do bongs?" Or is this simply a communique of encouragement to Rich from peers and well-wishers?

Each year, there's an approximately two week-window when the intimate details of Perrysburg's municipal drainage system are in full public view. Not yet obscured by the overgrown foliage of Spring, yet free of the perspective-impeding leaves, ice, and snow left behind from the previous seasonal cycle. I caught this full-frontal graffiti installation display Friday of this week, and even after a close inspection, I'm baffled as to it's date of origin.

Could this be an artifact from the golden-era of the early 80's Perrysburgian punk empire, when Messrs. Montgomery, Groch, Bella and the Brothers Gumpf (and Roger and that other kid who I can't recall the first or last name of) ruled the punkdom with clenched fists and open beverages? Or Is this Black Flag tribute simply the current product of a momentarily disenfranchised youth with a can of spray-paint, just dabbling in delinquency before heading off for a four-year academic enlistment in Columbus?
-toke

-Photo details
Where: US 20 in Perrysburg, under the southbound lane directly in front of Kroger.
When: 4/24/10
What: Sony Ericsson phone/camera

Record Store Day, April 17, 2010

2010-04-17T11:26:00.019-04:00

Here at PDGB, every day is record store day. And while nothing gets us more excited than seeing others get excited by music -not to mention art, dance, beer, booze, food, heaven, hell, and/or any form of inspired self-expression regardless of cultural origin- we're hoping that National Record Store Day continues to be an annual rite of spring and celebration of passion and human interaction. A few wrong moves and N.R.S.D. risks alienating its intended audience and simply becoming another crass, desperate attempt to prop up the remnants of the music industry's old guard.

Art and commerce have always been strange bedfellows, and the cutout bins of history are littered with failed attempts at balancing a checkbook with artistic vision and heartfelt passion. Fight the good fight indie retailers.

Must I remind PDGB readers of how the well-intended and formerly care-free and fibrous Oatmeal Muffin Day (Dec 19) unwittingly pitted Grandmother against Nana and Babushka against Matriarch, transforming supermarkets, craft supply stores, and suburban kitchens into combat-zones, ultimately bringing this once-great nation to it's knees for over seventy-two mildly irregular hours? Who can forget the tragic fall from grace suffered by (a moment of silence, please) the once joyous and dignified Ball Point Pen Day, (June 10) it's legacy so horrific and scarring it remains a source of national embarrassment and ridicule to this day? Dare I mention the less than harmonious circumstances surrounding our notorious day of infamy otherwise known as Barbershop Quartet Day (April 11)? A straw-boated jubilee of such perversion and far-reaching implication most experts agree it an enigma "best left unsolved."

Go forward with grace Record Store Day, and watch your back.
-toke!

Culture Clash Records Toledo
4020 Secor Rd.
536-5683

Ramalama Records Toledo
3151 West Central Ave.
531-7625

Aerosmith and Baker-Gurvitz Army-Toledo Sports Arena, 4/11/75

2010-04-08T10:52:00.016-04:00

Baby I'm a Dreamer
Found My Horse and Carriage
Friday, April 11, 1975

Lemmy: The Movie

2010-03-17T11:20:00.030-04:00

After the Apocalypse, only Lemmy will remain. And millions of cockroaches, all in tiny Motorhead T-shirts, contentedly schlepping his bass rig to the next gig.
Loved by many, hated by none, feared only by dilettantes and poseurs who run the all too real risk of having their little rock'n'roll charade exposed in light of the brutal honesty and uncompromising dedication with which Lemmy has lived his life. They don't make an app for this shit. Given that, any attempts at a "critical" analysis or dissection of the highly anticipated documentary, Lemmy: The Movie, would simply be a waste of breath. The film debuted this week at SXSW 2010 in Austin Texas.

Question: Who remembers the the Ozzy/Motorhead posters that hung for years in the Ontario St. window of Toledo's Pythian Castle? Ozzy's "Blizzard of Ozz" tour hit the Toledo Sports Arena on May, 10th, 1981, and the posters remained in the Pythian windows until maybe the early 90's. According to the 06/28/81 edition Toledo Blade, the concert did "very poorly" attendance-wise.

Do any PDGB readers have knowledge concerning the whereabouts of said posters today?
How about a photograph of the Pythian Castle that just happens to include the posters?
If you do, Let ol' toke! know pronto!
-toke!

Ikea, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods NEVER coming to Toledo despite decades of speculation, rumour, and outright lies perpetuated by West Toledo hipsters

2010-03-08T16:15:00.020-05:00

Frank Marino and Mahogany Rush at St. Francis deSales High School: This Week In Toledo, Ohio, 1975

2010-02-25T19:45:00.055-05:00

Neckties Required/No Blue Jeans
Saturday, March 3rd, 1975

By the time Mahogany Rush hit the SFS High School Gymnasium in March of '75, the Frank Marino led power-trio had two LPs in the shops and a third on the way: 1973's Maxoom, 1974's Child of the Novelty, the release of 1975's Strange Universe pending. All three LP's were initially released on former Warner Bros. promo man Robert Nickford's Kotai Records and are reissued sporadically on a variety of imprints.

PDGB is curious regarding the circumstances that led to the booking of guitarist Marino, bassist Paul Harwood and drummist James Ayoub at the all-male preparatory high school, where cover bands were the norm. Just three weeks earlier, Mahogany Rush played a gig the Toledo University* Student Union Auditorium, located just down the street from SFHS. And in August of the same year, Mahogany would be opening the World Series of Rock Festival at Cleveland's Lakefront Stadium-see update below. Even by the comparatively innocent music-biz standards of the 70's, a bona fide recording act taking a gig at a high school must have been perceived as a step backwards. As the old show-biz adage goes, "Any gig as long as the check doesn't bounce," I guess.

Or had the tie-dye elephant on Mahogany's stage simply grown too large for the jaded college-age crowd to ignore? A skilled player to be sure, the riff on 70's-era Frank Marino was, uh, he sounded a lot like Jimi Hendrix. Like in a “I wanna wear your skin after I kill you in a bizarre ritualistic ceremony” kind of way. So perfectly did Marino's guitar and vocal work capture Jimi's unmistakable tone, technique, and laid-back urban soul, rumors began to spread regarding a spiritual, supernatural or biological oneness shared by Jimi and Frank. So much so, many listeners were stunned to discover that Marino was, in fact, Canadian.

UPDATE:

Recently unearthed Cleveland World Series of Rock (presumably unauthorized) commemorative T-shirt, confirming the appearance of Mahogany Rush. Note heedless rearrangement of billing order and subtle artistic license taken with Aerosmith type in order to maintain designers thematic "pyramid-power" statement. Actual order of bill was (top to bottom) Rod Stewart and The Faces, Uriah Heap, Aerosmith, Blue Oyster Cult, Mahogany Rush. Second "A" in Mahogany replaced with "O" due to totally lame Chartpak rub-on lettering sets including no more than eight of any single character except for "S." Pfffft.
-toke!

*Lovingly and consistently referred to as “Bancroft High” and “High School with Ashtrays” by guidance counselors and other supposed figures of authority and influence I encountered during the totally-gross ME! decade, TU concerts were legendary. Hendrix, Joplin, Springsteen, CSNY, Pink Floyd and Badfinger are but just a few of the A-list performers who performed at the University in their prime. Later, Toledo University would earn the right to officially change it's name to The University of Toledo (UT) in exchange for removing some of the ashtrays. Sexy.

It Might Get Loud DVD & Blu-ray release, December 22nd, 2009

2009-12-22T00:50:00.005-05:00

Just the thing for all the middle-aged white guys on your Christmas list.

According to the official press kit: "It Might Get Loud tells the personal stories, in their own words, of three generations of electric guitar virtuosos – The Edge (U2), Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin), and Jack White (The White Stripes)."

PDGB sees it like this:
Jimmy Page: Aided in no small part by his like-minded Led Zeppelin band mates, James Patrick Page essentially created the genre of bombastic, riff-based arena-rock by regurgitating the blues through cranked-up VOX AC30's and Marshall stacks, making each lick his own along the way.

The Edge: In a quest to create an unmistakable musical voice worthy of U2's ambitious lyrics, Mr. David Howell Evans cleverly combined sparse, syncopated guitar rhythms with the latest available signal processing technology, inadvertently spawning an entire sub-genre of copycat guitarists more concerned with the effects rack than the fretboard in the process.

Jack White: Choosing to go low-brow right from the start, John Anthony Gillis created an instantly recognizable tone to call his own by combining inexpensive instruments with uniquely configured analog gear, confirming what ol' Pagey has known about white boys playing the blues all along: It's what you've got to say that matters, not the amount of words you can cram into a sentence.

Now, how about that sequel spotlighting ~~Ron Asheton~~(RIP), ~~Robert Quine~~(RIP), ~~Johnny Ramone~~(RIP), Tom Verlaine, Greg Ginn, and Josh Homme?

Toledo Pop Festival-This Week In Toledo, Ohio, 1969:

2009-09-10T21:35:00.036-04:00

So Happy Together!
Sunday, September 14th 1969

Four short weeks after Jimi Hendrix closed the generation-defining Woodstock Festival with a soul-stirring, whammy-bar laden performance of the Star Bangled Banner, Toledo fans got a homegrown opportunity to air out their freak flags courtesy of the daylong Toledo Pop Festival.

Culled primarily from the S.E. Michigan/N.W. Ohio axis of high-energy rock'n'roll, the day's slightly disparate line-up featured a virtual who's who of Rust Belt axe-slingers: Brothers Wayne Kramer and the late-great Fred "Sonic" Smith from the MC5; Ted Nugent from the Amboy Dukes; The Frost's Dick Wagner, who would later go on to co-write, record, and tour extensively with the likes of Alice Cooper and Lou Reed, among others; Ron Koss of Savage Grace; Gary Quackenbush of SRC; Steve Correll of The Rationals; and, the soon-to-be-known-as “Leather Tuscadero” in the persona of one Miss Suzi Quatro, performing bass, vocal and jail-bait duties for the Pleasure Seekers, a band consisting chiefly of her brothers and sisters.

PDGB wonders if the concert promoter’s somewhat curious decision to place feel-good hit-makers The Turtles atop a bill filled largely with outfits known for their aggressive, potentially incendiary histrionics was -at least in part- a conscious decision intended to serve as a musical blow-off valve, The Turtles cheery melodies and infectious lyrics helping to ease the attendees transition from frenzied jam kick-outing to the parking lot slough that awaited them. Then again, maybe they just needed a big name to sell some tickets.

Either way, we’re sure the inevitable twenty minute-plus live rendition of “Happy Together” didn’t go unnoticed, reshuffling the synapses of numerous first-time psychedelic users so completely that even now, some forty-years later, the simple act of hearing said melody errantly whistled by passerby is capable of triggering intense psychotic episodes of such severity that even immediate medical attention followed by years of therapy can't guarantee the return of normal brain activity. Way to go Boomers!

Held at Toledo Raceway Park (which we assume is the Horse racing facility of approximately the same name that still stands in North Toledo today) the $5.00 admission ($4.25 Advance) was an unbelievable bargain, even adjusted for inflation.

If you attended the Toledo Pop Festival and have a recollection you'd like to share about it -or any like event/concert/happening in the N.W. Ohio/S.W. Michigan region- click that comment button and tell it!

Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

2009-08-06T21:04:00.005-04:00

-Ferris Bueller

John Hughes
02/08/50 - 08/06/09
R.I.P.

Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?

2009-08-04T23:14:00.014-04:00

1. Q: How are Kenny G and a Ginsu knife alike? A: They're both sharp as hell all the time, and that's never gonna change.

2. Define Perfect Pitch: A violin, from 10 paces, straight down the toilet without touching the seat.

3. A musician comes home after a gig and finds his girlfriend tied to the bed, bruised, naked and gagged. In a panic, he removes the gag and asks, "What happened?" His girlfriend replies: "While you were out, your agent came over and...." Interrupting her, he says: "You're kidding? My Agent? He came to see me? What did he say?!"

4. Q: How can you tell when your female lead has arrived at the rehearsal studio? A: She fumbles for the key for over ten minutes, and when you open the door, she still doesn't come in right.

5. Q: How do you turn a loud guitarist down? A: Put some sheet music in front of him.

6. Kenny G gets into an elevator. After a few floors he turn to the businessman next to him and says "Hey man, this place is really rockin'."

7. Q: Why did Bach have so many children? A: His organ didn't have any stops.

8. Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a viola? A: You take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline.

9. Two DJs meet at a gig. They finish a set each. After much mutual praising, they decide to hang out. One DJ suggests there's a great movie in town. The other replies, "Let's call ahead, find out who the projectionist is."

10. Q: What's the difference between a musician and a pizza? A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

11. Q: What's the difference between a trombone solo and a buzz saw? A: Vibrato.

12. Q: What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A: The rock guitarist plays 4 chords for 10,000 people...

13. A Classical conductor reluctantly books a jazz saxophonist for a solo spot in a modern concert piece. To his surprise, the saxophonist turns up early for each and every rehearsal with his pencils sharpened, music in order, and plays flawlessly. He even stays back after rehearsals to ask important questions of the conductor in regards to interpretation of the score, always carefully marking his parts. Finally, after the final dress rehearsal, the conductor walks up to the jazz saxophonist and says, "I have to admit I had serious misgivings about using a non-classical musician, but your performance so far has been impeccable; always here early, looking after your music, a real example for the rest of the orchestra. You've certainly changed my mind about jazz musicians." To which the saxophonist replies, "Well Man, it's the least I can do seeing as I can't make the gig."

14. Kenny G goes into a Burger King: "Give me two Whoppers." Employee: "OK. You're good looking and you sound great."

15. Q : What's the definition of a gentleman? A : Someone who can play bagpipes but doesn't.

16. Q: Why is a bassoon better than an oboe? A: The bassoon burns longer.

17. Q: What' the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead banjo player in the road? A: The snake was on it's way to a gig.

18. Q: How many female lead singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, she just holds it while the world revolves around her.

19. A conductor sees a disturbance in the back of the orchestra, so he stops the rehearsal to find out what's going on. The last chair viola points to one of the bass players and says, "He...he just grabbed one of my tuning pegs and detuned the string!" The conductor is pretty irritated, but he says, "Okay, don't do it again, but we'll talk about it later." A little while later, he sees that something's going on again, so he stops the rehearsal again and says, "What the hell's the matter now?" The violist responds, "He, he...he won't tell me which one!!"

21. In my first year of college, an accordion-player friend of mine drove up from home to visit me. He arrived quite late on a dreary Friday night, and after getting settled I asked him where he parked. To my dismay, he informs me he parked on a nearby dimly-lit street notorious for car break-ins. I asked him if he brought is accordion, and he said he did, but he left it on the back seat of his car. Upon hearing this, we rushed down to his car to move it, but it was already too late; Someone had broken in and left two more accordions.

22. Two American guitarists were part of an international music act traveling by train across Europe. Several hours into the trip, one of the Russian members stands up and boasts, "In Russia, we have so much fine vodka I can afford to just throw it away." To illustrate his point, he takes a bottle of the finest Russian vodka and throws it out the window. Never to be outdone, a member of the French contingent holds up a bottle of the finest Champagne and retorts, "Well in France, we have so much of the finest Champagne, we can afford to just throw it away," and proceeds to throw the bottle out the train window. The first American guitarist accepts the challenge and, without saying a word, picks up the second guitarist and throws him out the window.

23. Q: What do a Yngwie Malmsteen guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common? A: You know its coming and nothing you can do is gonna' stop it.

24. Q: What's the least-used sentence in the English language? A: "Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?"

This collection of comedic gems was compiled from too many sources to bother mentioning. If you've got a few of you're own, get busy with the comment button A.S.A.P. and share 'em with your fellow Pizza Don't Go Bad readers.

Detroit's Grande Ballroom: It done kicked 'em out!

2009-07-03T15:40:00.023-04:00

Location, Location, Location.
Unlike San Francisco's Fillmore, which successfully parlayed it's late-sixties, hippie-dippy pedigree into a multi-million dollar franchise under the crafty tutelage of Bill Graham, Detroit's Grande Ballroom was virtually abandoned and left to rot, not unlike Detroit itself.

With the official release of the widely bootlegged Future/Now films documentary, MC5- A True Testimonial still(!) in limbo, it's of particular importance that Louder than Love, the Story of the Grande Ballroom, get completed and released in a timely manner, lest the rest of the world continue under the false impression that California and New York held exclusives on all of the music, revolution, and counter-culture mayhem that went down in the 60's.

The Grande's legacy may have been resurrected in the mid-80's by a new generation of fans hungry for the pure, pre-corporate, high-energy rock music that the venue fostered during its short influential reign, but the building itself has not fared nearly as well; numerous online sources offer photographic evidence of the building's structural decline, and practitioners of the urban exploration movement have produced several video accounts of exposing the decay behind the Grande's exterior walls.

Fun Fact: The debut performance of The Who's Tommy took place at the Grande.
Sour Grapes: Machine Gun Thompson of the MC5 apparently has a bone to pick with Iggy and/or the Stooges.

Even a partial listing of Grande Ballroom Alumni reveals the sonically diverse zeitgeist of the Grande's brief tenure:

The Amboy Dukes, The Animals, Jeff Beck Group, Chuck Berry, Big Brother and the Holding Company, Blood Sweat and Tears, Blue Oyster Cult, Bonzo Dog Band, Brownsville Station, Butterfield Blues Band, Canned Heat, Cream, Detroit w/Mitch Ryder, Bo Diddley, Fleetwood Mac, The Frost, Frut, Genesis, Sir Graves Ghastly, Alan Ginsburg, Golden Earring, Buddy Guy, Abbie Hoffman, John Lee Hooker, Howlin' Wolf, J Geils-who recorded their breakthrough live album Full House at Detroit's Cinderella Ballroom, The James Gang, Elton John, King Crimson, The Kinks, Led Zeppelin, MC5, NRBQ, Pink Floyd, Procol Harum, Shakey Jake, John Sinclair, Sky with future Knack leader Doug Fieger, Sly and the Family Stone, The Stooges, Third Power, T-Rex w/Marc Bolan, Turtles, The Troggs, The Who, Johnny Winter, The Yardbirds.

Kick out the jams indeed.

-toke!

Free-Range Art of the Toledo Region #1

2009-06-17T21:25:00.011-04:00

click images for a larger view

We haven't a clue regarding the identity of the resident artist (artist resident?) who transformed so much junkyard detritus and industrial-sized scrap iron into this clever display of garden fauna, but we do know that it represents one of the purest forms of Free-Range Art we've seen.

Our feet never left public soil during our short visit, ninety-nine percent out of respect to the homeowner, and one percent because you gotta' figure anyone this talented with a welder is equally as handy with the old shootin' iron when sufficiently agitated. We happily settled for the long-distance photos you see here. If and when a proper introduction is arranged, we'll gladly shoot some close-ups and elaborate on the artist and their work if they are so inclined.

Numerous additional sculptures dot the yard, and like most free-range exhibits, finding them is half the fun. Here's a hint that should make your search an easy one: It's situated east of Oak Openings Preserve, on a road beginning with the letter "R."

It seems the purest examples of free-range art are the result of a direct conduit between the creator's mind and their hands, a passion undiluted by rational thought and outside influence.

If you do visit, please practice common courtesy.

Digital TV Transition: Is that us?

2009-06-10T22:00:00.001-04:00

I haven't heard a thing. You?

Sure, it's funny now.

2009-06-08T17:29:00.016-04:00

Words to govern by.
Click graphic for full size image

Gary Louris-This Week In Toledo, Ohio, 1973:

2009-05-26T15:00:00.027-04:00

Jayhawks guitarist Gary Louris graduates from Toledo’s St. Johns High School. In a bold career strategy that can only be described as genius, Louris doesn’t even own an electric guitar until after receiving his college diploma, potentially saving thousands of music admirers and witless bystanders from the shrill cacophony of yet another drooling adolescent tunelessly fumbling with his six-string penis in public.

The prolific songwriter’s decision to hone his craft in semi-obscurity was a wise one, evidenced not only by his vast catalog of passionate and melodic ~~country/rock~~ rock/country tinged-tunes, but also by the sheer number of A-list performers (Dixie Chicks, Kelly Willis, Nickel Creek-among others) that have come calling in recent years, all in hopes that at least some of the secret ingredients comprising G. Louris’ special sauce will stick to their fingers.

In addition to Louris's recently released and critically acclaimed solo work, "Vagabonds," the highly anticipated "Music from the North Country: The Jayhawks Anthology,"is slated for a July 7th release.

-toke!

The dirty low-lowdown

2009-05-24T12:10:00.017-04:00

Freak Not, My Friends! You can still find a video of the The Oak Ridge Boys performing The White Stripes, "Seven Nation Army" by clicking here.
Not bad, but I prefer The Gaither Vocal Band's note-for-note rendition of "Dehumanized" by Void.

Shrine on, you crazy diamond(s)

2009-05-20T11:30:00.007-04:00

Rarely performed outside the protective cover of temple walls, the "Raised-rear, throttle-plate tickle" is arguably the most provocative of all Shriner secret handshakes.

T-4 days till Shriner Car Day, AKA Memorial Day.